Comments on: Vertigo

By: ganymeder

ganymeder — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:35:45 +0000

I hate it when people take dumb risks just for fun. I’d feel just like the guy too. Vertigo is not fun at all!

Very well written peice. I thought for sure she was going to fall or toss him over the cliff.

By: mazzz_in_Leeds

mazzz_in_Leeds — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:55:07 +0000

The dialogue works very well, I particularly like the lack of quotes around the spoken parts.
And I’m terrified of heights – this piece was very good at digging out some not very dormant terrors!

By: Sumit Dam

Sumit Dam — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 22:04:11 +0000

Thanks, folks. I don’t actually get vertigo, so it’s reassuring to know that it works…

By: Sarah E.

Sarah E. — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 13:14:32 +0000

This one made me feel the same way I do if I see people on TV climbing in high places – it made my palms sweat. There’s a great deal of tension for such a short story.

By: squarepetal

squarepetal — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:37:29 +0000

Telling the story in reported speech: I slap you heartily upon the back and place a drink in your hand! At once the language of memory and personal fantasy, the perfect backdrop to the ultra-vividness of the scene. Colours are brighter and there is girl/boy/sea/sky/bravery/vulnerability and beauty everywhere one looks. I love the parallel between the danger in the story and the danger of allowing oneself to be so taken over by such perfect fantasies. Simultaneously the physicality of the story denies the reader the safety clung to by the boy, his “broken lips” a telling sign he has come too close to turn back now despite his fear.

The increasing rapidity of the I say/you say builds speed and momentum and the chaos the girl throws into this sensitive boy’s orderly world; “sitting on the damp grass and ruined chalk, legs hanging over the edge.” is irresistible. The reader is delighted that the boy does “give way” before the cliff and relieved that the embracing of the danger only temporarily destroys it for already she is throwing “another pebble”. I enjoyed the way the story poses the momentous decisions one makes at the start of any relationship: whether to “join the first at the vanishing point” and whether it is possible to keep your sense of self,”Do you think it’d be possible to jump off and live?” I guess it seems especially real in that the girl takes charge of these decisions!

By: Sumit Dam

Sumit Dam — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:46:36 +0000

Thanks! Yeah, the globes are a bit much. I’ll have to make a point of telling my younger self that. I don’t quite understand your point about jumping – it’s not quite how I visualised it, so I must have failed to make that clear…

By: Helen

Helen — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 10:25:44 +0000

Enjoyed this very much – liked the evocation of place and the imagery around the scarlet jacket is great!

Though if I were going to indulge in unnecessary carping I don’t understand the “warm blue globes above” and if she’s leaping a couple of feet into the air from a standstill she must be some jumper.

By: Sumit Dam

Sumit Dam — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:29:35 +0000

This is an old story - probably dating from the mid-1990s. I think I wrote it to prove to myself that I could write dialogue; you can judge for yourself if I succeeded. That's about it for sleevenotes. Music? Well, you could do worse than Dani Siciliano's Why Can't I Make You High, though I can't find a playable version of it online. Or if you're feeling more literal, there's always this, of course. And then there's this...