sumit/says

So the reading of i/o Error at last week’s Liars’ League went well: or to put it more precisely: the audience mostly laughed at the right bits; I had a whale of a time and there was even a bit of the promised love in the air, albeit that it faded faster than a rose from a Leicester Square flower-seller.

i/o Error didn’t get as uproarious a reception as The Man With The Musical Penis did, but then it’s not as uproarious a story. In fact, one of the things that I think got lost was the tragic element of the story – it wasn’t explicit enough to come over in a live rendition, and it relies on a few science-fictional references that may not have been clear to a general audience. I’m also a bit concerned that I might be typecasting myself as an impotence obsessive… but part three of the Penis Triptych is nonetheless on its way. (In a splatterpunk style, which should be interesting.)

The story’s undertones of coercion and homophobia also raised a few eyebrows. Not to have the whole “is The Phantom Menace racist or not?” argument all over again, but my intention was to poke fun at stereotypes, not strengthen them. If anything, I think of it as a tragicomedy about two individuals whose failure to express their sexuality – failure begat by purposeful engineering design, in this case – has disastrous social consequences. Like Ted and Ralph. Only with, y’know, robots.

The reader was Will Goodhand, whom I was startled to recognise from his appearance on the UK version of Beauty and the Geek (my thoughts on which can be found here). Will’s claim to geekhood was his unashamed Young Conservatism, a position to which he apparently still cleaves – less geeky today than it was back then, I guess. Should you wish, you can amuse yourself by listening to the recording and trying to work out which leading – and definitely Not Gay – elder statesman of the Tory party Will used as the basis of Alpha’s voice!

I also enjoyed The Love Machines by Niall Boyce – another take on humanised technology, but more optimistic than mine – and Jerome McFadden’s wry Suicide.

By way of a bonus the Liars also read the  #llsatc Twitfic submitted months ago for their Sex and the City event, including one of mine. I actually submitted four Underground-themed #vss, tweaked versions of which I’ve recorded for posterity here since they’ve long since vanished from Twitter. (I’m sure posterity will be duly grateful.) The first’s the one they read (a good choice: the rude bit at the end works best when said out loud); the second is historically accurate, if you know your royal anatomy; the third is also v. rude (hint: think of tunnels and Tube colours); and the last doesn’t work but I thought I’d include it for completeness’ sake.

They met @Moorgate: she was Northern; he, Metropolitan. But he soon warmed to her country charms: and soon it was rus in urbe.

She assumed he would take the Hammersmith & City; he insisted on the Bakerloo. So they parted ways @Paddington

@GreenPark: Right Piccadilly, left Albertopolis. Victoria, in her Jubilee coach, recalls her consort’s barbelled end and is wistfully amused

Switched from Circle to District @NottingHillGate. Her Central concern: he might have left it too late…

Tube geeks will note that the stations cited actually are the intersections of the relevant lines. Yes, I know. You’re welcome. ##