Published on January 1, 2011 6:29 pm.
Filed under: Romance
Yeah. It’s been a while.
A few months ago I heard that the Grant Museum – the tiny, deeply fabulous zoological wunderkammer embedded deep in the throbbing heart of UCL’s Bloomsbury campus – was running a short story competition. The Grant is a delightful place, packed – and I do mean packed – with its curiosities. A three-legged quagga! Glass slugs! A walrus’ penis bone! A jar of moles! And that’s not even the beginning of an introduction to it. »
Published on July 30, 2010 12:01 pm.
Filed under: Asides
Published on July 30, 2010 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Historical
So the reading of i/o Error at last week’s Liars’ League went well: or to put it more precisely: the audience mostly laughed at the right bits; I had a whale of a time and there was even a bit of the promised love in the air, albeit that it faded faster than a rose from a Leicester Square flower-seller. »
Published on February 17, 2010 9:31 am.
Filed under: Asides
i/o Error is going to be read at the next meeting of the Liars’ League, which has a Love & Marriage theme. (You might recall that The Man With The Musical Penis was read by Martin Lamb at the corresponding event last year, to great effect – that’s why I submitted again this year.) Details after the jump. »
Published on February 6, 2010 7:17 pm.
Filed under: Asides
Published on October 30, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Horror
Tagged: anthropomorphism, fear, sibling rivalry
Insert Tab A in Slot B. »
Published on October 2, 2009 2:14 pm.
Filed under: Humour, Science Fiction
Biting the hand that feeds. »
Published on September 14, 2009 2:15 pm.
Filed under: Science Fiction
You’re not singing any more. »
Published on September 2, 2009 12:16 pm.
Filed under: Horror, Humour
Published on August 26, 2009 2:13 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Science Fiction
A guide to one of London’s least-known but most curious boroughs. »
Published on August 14, 2009 11:16 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy
Let no man put asunder. »
Published on August 7, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy, Horror, Romance
Published on July 31, 2009 6:57 pm.
Filed under: Humour
School’s out for summer; school’s out for ever. »
Published on July 24, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fanfiction, Fantasy, Horror, Humour
How come no-one wants to know what I saw? »
Published on July 17, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Science Fiction
Tagged: astronautics, nostalgia, space
Published on July 10, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Horror
Pussy by name, pussy by nature. »
Published on June 26, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Horror, Humour
Tagged: adulthood, anthropomorphism, bittersweet, cats, childish things, death, futility, growing up, heroism, imaginary friends
For what we are about to receive. »
Published on June 19, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy
Life is very long when you’re lonely. »
Published on June 12, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy
We’re all going on a summer holiday. »
Published on June 5, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy, Humour
Tagged: enigma, environment, irony, tourism
Published on May 29, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy
Tagged: bereavement, biographical, kathryn, rabbits, synchronicity
Published on May 22, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy, Humour
Published on May 15, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Humour, Science Fiction
Published on May 8, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy, Humour
Tagged: family, riddle
Published on May 1, 2009 2:56 pm.
Filed under: Horror, Science Fiction
Published on April 24, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Fantasy
According to tradition, William Shakespeare was born 445 years ago on this day – and died on what would have been his 52nd birthday, in 1616. There’s no way to be sure about his birthday – he was baptised on April 26th, but that’s about all that can be confirmed. (Inevitably, some people have different ideas, just as they do about practically everything to do with Shakespeare.)
By way of tribute, here’s a cut-up of Sonnet 18 (“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”) that I made at the V&A a couple of years ago, and my Quill Bill wallpaper.
Published on April 23, 2009 8:42 am.
Filed under: Asides
All’s fair in love and war. »
Published on April 17, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Romance
Parting is such sweet sorrow. »
Published on April 3, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy, Horror, Romance
Published on March 27, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fanfiction, Romance
Like a wolf on the fold. »
Published on March 20, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Horror
Tagged: black shuck, death, depression, devil, faith, religion, struggle
One is the loneliest number. »
Published on March 13, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Fantasy
Tagged: cetacea, choose your own adventure, inconclusive, mysteries of the deep, song, whale
Chicken Little was a gutless wonder. »
Published on March 6, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Fantasy
Tagged: belief, collapse, decisions decisions, levitation, meteorites, silence, suspense
There’s never a pair around when you need them.
Five stories of lives, cut short. »
Published on February 27, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Adventure, Fanfiction, Horror, Humour, Science Fiction
Tagged: cutting, fear, flee, for want of a nail, scissors, snip snip, star trek
The Liars’ League have put up a recording of my story, The Man With The Musical Penis, as read by the redoubtable Martin Lamb earlier this month. Ideal listening for the office; you can get it here.
Published on February 24, 2009 6:49 pm.
Filed under: Asides
Tagged: audio, liars league, podcast
I sought enlightenment, and in a way I found it.
Or did it find me? »
Published on February 20, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Humour
Tagged: bollocks, enlightenment, holy fool, mysticism, paradox, riddle, spirituality, transcendentalism, without apologies to carlos castaneda
A story for anyone who’s ever thought they might be a furry. »
Published on February 13, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Humour, Romance
Tagged: embarrassment, if music be the food of love, innuendo, liars league, love, music, performed live, priapism, sex, social disease
One of my more notorious stories, The Man With The Musical Penis, is going to be read by a Real Live Actor at the next meeting of the Liars’ League. (How can you resist a title like that? And yes, it does what it says on the tin.) It’s at 7pm on Tuesday 10 February at the Wheatsheaf pub near Goodge Street tube station in London. Do come along if you can!
Published on February 5, 2009 8:35 am.
Filed under: Asides
Published on January 23, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Humour, Science Fiction
Tagged: friends, guests, outstaying your welcome, puns, suburbia
Out of the mouths of babes. »
Published on January 16, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Horror, Humour
Tagged: baby doom, children, spooky, talking, toddlers
A story about falling in love. »
Published on January 9, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Romance
Tagged: a leap into the unknown, acrophobia, falling, fear, love, one step beyond, what doesn't kill you
Remember: “GOD” spelled sideways is “GDO”! »
Published on January 2, 2009 12:00 pm.
Filed under: Humour
Tagged: blasphemy, god, mysterious ways, mythology, omiscience, spam, the problem of evil, theodicy
Those of you who know me in real life (whatever that means these days) may wonder why I chose to publish this story this week. That’s too complex and personal to set down here – ask me about it elsewhere if you want to know. I’m just going to say that it very closely reflects how I was feeling when I wrote it four years ago this week; but thankfully nothing about how I feel now.
People are not puppets.
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